"Your life is your art" ~ Jacob Nordby
for the girl I was
living in her box of fear
now the gift of light and bright
of knowing that all the answers are within me
all perfect always
her darkness leading to my light
My sweet mama once gave me a rock with the words "I am enough" carved on it. I know she meant it as a positive reminder but it never felt quite right to me. Perhaps because she never believed it about herself, perhaps because at the time I didn't actually believe it about myself, either. And then later I came to KNOW that I am so much MORE than just enough.
In the weeks leading to her death, when she was unable to communicate, I envisioned her standing on a threshold with her arms spread wide, holding the door open. It was the doorway between struggle and ease, between confusion and clarity, between lack and abundance, between being just enough and being absolutely limitless.
At the moment of her transition, I felt all limits drop away from her. She was FREE. She became everything that she ever was and always will be, her own true Infinite Self - and I could feel her Presence more strongly than ever.
Every day since then, she reminds me that I can choose the magic of that threshold whenever I want to. The door is never closed, sometimes I just forget to remember that it's open...
My paintings come from my willingness to stand in the doorway and take in the contrast of this beautiful messy human life. To FEEL the darkness and the light, the joy and the sadness, the frustration and the relief, the laughter and the tears. To feel fear and KNOW that I am ALWAYS safe. And to spill all of that out onto the paper.
I never dreamed that I'd be an artist. But I can't not be. I spent most of my life looking outward for the "right" answers, not understanding that everything I was looking for was deep inside of me all along. Now I continue to CHOOSE - every day - to see, to feel, to believe, and finally to KNOW that I am MORE than enough.
I am perfectly imperfect.
I am a limitless, infinite being.